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Communicating With Your PartnerCommunicating with your partner about how cancer has affected you can be difficult. Even strong relationships can become strained under the pressure of managing a complex illness. Taking steps to improve your communication skills can help you to feel more supported and understood.
Communicating With Your Partner: Detailed InformationThis information is meant to be a general introduction to this topic. The purpose is to provide a starting point for you to become more informed about important matters that may be affecting your life as a survivor and to provide ideas about steps you can take to learn more. This information is not intended nor should it be interpreted as providing professional medical, legal and financial advice. You should consult a trained professional for more information. Please read the Suggestions and Additional Resources documents for questions to ask and for more resources. Why is it important for survivors to communicate well with their partners? A spouse or partner can be a primary source of support to a cancer survivor. However, if communication begins to break down, it can be stressful and result in low levels of support for both. While the cancer journey can be emotionally challenging for survivors, it can also be hard on loved ones. In some cases, a partner may experience more emotional distress than the survivor. Both survivors and their partners may have strong emotions such as fear, anger and guilt. Stress is also common. A decline in the physical or emotional status of either may create a “cycle of distress” for the couple. If this happens, one person’s distress also affects the other. High levels of emotional distress can strain the relationship. Good communication may be the most effective strategy for breaking this cycle. It may also improve the quality of life for both. Good communication skills can help survivors and their partners to:
Important issues that partners may need to discuss together include:
The cancer experience can be a time that enriches and strengthens the relationship. A partner can play a large role in shaping the emotional experience of the survivor to the experiences of cancer and life after treatment. Research shows that survivors who feel they have support from their partners are more likely to focus on the positive aspects of their cancer journey. This can improve their quality of life. Why is it sometimes difficult for survivors to communicate with their partners? There may be a number of reasons why it can be difficult for survivors to communicate with their partners including:
Issues, such as the side effects or aftereffects of cancer and treatment, may be difficult to discuss. For example, some survivors experience incontinence, sexual or fertility problems or changes in self-esteem and body image. These may be very hard for some people to talk about. Long-lasting complications, such as fatigue and chronic pain, may be difficult for partners to understand. This is especially true when the survivor is in remission or looks healthy. The partner may want the survivor to move on and return to life the way it was before cancer. Sensitive issues that may be difficult to discuss include:
Survivors may feel guilty discussing certain topics with their partners. It can be hard for survivors to ask others for help. This is particularly true if the survivor has always been the one to help others. Some may continue to try to do tasks that have become too emotionally or physically challenging. Some survivors are worried about stress on their partners. They may feel guilty about asking partners to take on new roles and responsibilities. They may be concerned that a partner is as distressed (or more) than the survivor. A survivor may try to protect his or her partner by not sharing information. Important discussions about certain topics, such as health care directives and financial matters, may be avoided in an effort not to upset the partner. Survivors and partners may have different priorities. Cancer survivors and their partners may find that some things that were important to them before treatment are no longer as important. There may be a change in the way they view life. Some decide to change jobs or other relationships in their lives. Sometimes both partners and survivors can easily understand the change in priorities and be comfortable with them. Other times, one of them might not understand why these changes are happening or may not agree with them. This can feel threatening to a relationship.
How can survivors learn to communicate well with their partners? Couples sharing the cancer journey can learn new and effective communication strategies. Even though it can be difficult to change old habits, learning skills and developing new communication habits is possible. The key is to practice the new skills regularly. The benefit is that healthy communication can increase satisfaction in a couple’s overall relationship and positively affect the quality of life for both. Some ways to improve communication skills include:
How can better communication benefit survivors and their partners? There may be times when survivors and their partners have a hard time talking with one another. During times of stress, effective and healthy communication might be a challenge for couples. This can be especially difficult if there were already problems talking and sharing before the cancer diagnosis. If communication between you and your partner is not what you would like, you may need to work on building skills. You may be able to do this together or with the help of a licensed counselor. You may want to talk with your health care team about getting a referral to a counselor who is experienced working with cancer survivors. Signs that it is time to work on better communication with your partner include:
If there is ever physical aggression in the response of you or your partner, seek immediate help. Options for professional assistance include:
This document was produced in collaboration with: Cindy L. Carmack Taylor, Ph.D. Works Cited Christensen, Andrew, and Neil Jacobson. Reconcilable Differences. New York: The London Press, 2000. Fincham, Frank D., Leyan O.L. Fernandes, and Keith Humphreys. Communicating in Relationships: A Guide for Couples and Professionals. Champaign: Research Press, Manne, Sharon, Stephen J. Pape, Kathryn L. Taylor, and James Dougherty. “Spouse support, coping, and mood among individuals with cancer.” Annals of Behavioral Medicine Communicating With Your Partner: SuggestionsThe suggestions that follow are based on the information presented in the Detailed Information document. They are meant to help you take what you learn and apply the information to your own needs. This information is not intended nor should it be interpreted as providing professional medical, legal and financial advice. You should consult a trained professional for more information. Please read the Additional Resources document for links to more resources.. Understand communication patterns and behaviors in your relationship. Before you can work on improving communication with your partner, you need to understand the patterns. Identify areas that need to be changed because of the cancer experience. Men and women generally communicate very differently. Men may want to try to solve the problems. Women often want to talk about problems and share emotions in an effort to give and receive support. It can be reassuring to men to know that sometimes simply sharing and discussing problems that cannot be solved is helpful to women. It may be helpful for women to be aware that discussing problems that cannot be solved can be frustrating for men. Discuss the following questions with your partner:
It is important for survivors and partners to be aware of their own communication needs and behaviors. Both need to take responsibility for their own patterns and recognize their own role in communication challenges. Learn and practice effective communication skills together.
Take a break out if a discussion becomes heated or too filled with tension. Agree in advance about how long the break should last. Each partner may need to go to a separate area to calm down. After calming down, you can try again to return to the conversation.
Take time to discuss difficult topics with your partner.
Consider meeting with a licensed counselor about serious challenges in your relationship. Sometimes communication problems are the result of more complicated problems. In some cases, a couple may require the help of a counselor or therapist. Ask your doctor for a referral if you:
In many cases, serious relationship problems can be avoided or improved with the assistance of a licensed counselor or therapist. Understand communication patterns and behaviors in your relationship. Before you can work on improving communication with your partner, you need to understand the patterns. Identify areas that need to be changed because of the cancer experience. Men and women generally communicate very differently. Men may want to try to solve the problems. Women often want to talk about problems and share emotions in an effort to give and receive support. It can be reassuring to men to know that sometimes simply sharing and discussing problems that cannot be solved is helpful to women. It may be helpful for women to be aware that discussing problems that cannot be solved can be frustrating for men. Discuss the following questions with your partner:
It is important for survivors and partners to be aware of their own communication needs and behaviors. Both need to take responsibility for their own patterns and recognize their own role in communication challenges. Learn and practice effective communication skills together.
Take time to discuss difficult topics with your partner.
Consider meeting with a licensed counselor about serious challenges in your relationship. Sometimes communication problems are the result of more complicated problems. In some cases, a couple may require the help of a counselor or therapist. Ask your doctor for a referral if you:
In many cases, serious relationship problems can be avoided or improved with the assistance of a licensed counselor or therapist. Communicating With Your Partner: Additional ResourcesThe resources listed below provide more detailed information and support services to help you communicate with your partner. Please read the Detailed Information and Suggestions document for more information and questions to ask. LIVESTRONG SurvivorCare Program
LIVESTRONG SurvivorCare offers assistance to anyone affected by cancer, including the person diagnosed, loved ones, caregivers and friends. The program provides information about treatment options and matching to clinical trials or treatments in development. Counseling services and assistance with financial, employment and insurance issues are also available. To provide these services, LIVESTRONG SurvivorCare has partnered with several organizations including CancerCare, Patient Advocate Foundation and EmergingMed.
American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy
The American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy provides a searchable database for locating licensed marriage and family therapists. This website also has information about a variety of emotional concerns, including chronic illness, caregiving, bereavement and loss. Descriptions of related books, audio tapes and articles are also available. American Psychological Association Help Center
The American Psychological Association (APA) has an online help center that offers consumers free information, facts, and tips about mental health issues. The APA Help Center provides a variety of brochures and online information about a wide range of emotional concerns, including chronic illness, stress, mind-body health, resilience, and issues including managed care and health insurance. The site also includes a psychologist locator service and a toll-free number to obtain contact information about psychologists in your area. Some information is available in Spanish. American Psychosocial Oncology Society (APOS)
APOS works to ensure that all people with cancer have access to psychosocial services as a part of quality cancer care. They provide mental health care referrals to local counseling and support services throughout the United States. If no services are available in your community, a professionally trained Helpline staff member will provide crisis counseling over the phone. To use this service, call the toll-free number. National Register of Health Service Providers in Psychology
The National Register of Health Service Providers in Psychology sponsors this free psychologist referral website to promote consumer access to more than 12,000 professionally screened psychologists in the United States and Canada. This site also contains frequently asked questions about getting help, web links and resources on behavioral health care issues for consumers. The Wellness Community
The Wellness Community is an international non-profit organization. It provides free support and education to people with cancer and their loved ones. Professionals lead support groups, educational workshops, nutrition and exercise programs. They help people affected by cancer regain control and reduce isolation regardless of the stage of their survivorship. Wellness Communities and satellite programs are located across the U.S. Online support groups for cancer survivors and caregivers are offered in both English and Spanish on their website.
Communicating With Your PartnerCommunicating with your partner about how cancer has affected you can be difficult. Even strong relationships can become strained under the pressure of managing a complex illness. Taking steps to improve your communication skills can help you to feel more supported and understood.
Communicating With Your Partner: Detailed InformationThis information is meant to be a general introduction to this topic. The purpose is to provide a starting point for you to become more informed about important matters that may be affecting your life as a survivor and to provide ideas about steps you can take to learn more. This information is not intended nor should it be interpreted as providing professional medical, legal and financial advice. You should consult a trained professional for more information. Please read the Suggestions and Additional Resources documents for questions to ask and for more resources. Why is it important for survivors to communicate well with their partners? A spouse or partner can be a primary source of support to a cancer survivor. However, if communication begins to break down, it can be stressful and result in low levels of support for both. While the cancer journey can be emotionally challenging for survivors, it can also be hard on loved ones. In some cases, a partner may experience more emotional distress than the survivor. Both survivors and their partners may have strong emotions such as fear, anger and guilt. Stress is also common. A decline in the physical or emotional status of either may create a “cycle of distress” for the couple. If this happens, one person’s distress also affects the other. High levels of emotional distress can strain the relationship. Good communication may be the most effective strategy for breaking this cycle. It may also improve the quality of life for both. Good communication skills can help survivors and their partners to:
Important issues that partners may need to discuss together include:
The cancer experience can be a time that enriches and strengthens the relationship. A partner can play a large role in shaping the emotional experience of the survivor to the experiences of cancer and life after treatment. Research shows that survivors who feel they have support from their partners are more likely to focus on the positive aspects of their cancer journey. This can improve their quality of life. Why is it sometimes difficult for survivors to communicate with their partners? There may be a number of reasons why it can be difficult for survivors to communicate with their partners including:
Issues, such as the side effects or aftereffects of cancer and treatment, may be difficult to discuss. For example, some survivors experience incontinence, sexual or fertility problems or changes in self-esteem and body image. These may be very hard for some people to talk about. Long-lasting complications, such as fatigue and chronic pain, may be difficult for partners to understand. This is especially true when the survivor is in remission or looks healthy. The partner may want the survivor to move on and return to life the way it was before cancer. Sensitive issues that may be difficult to discuss include:
Survivors may feel guilty discussing certain topics with their partners. It can be hard for survivors to ask others for help. This is particularly true if the survivor has always been the one to help others. Some may continue to try to do tasks that have become too emotionally or physically challenging. Some survivors are worried about stress on their partners. They may feel guilty about asking partners to take on new roles and responsibilities. They may be concerned that a partner is as distressed (or more) than the survivor. A survivor may try to protect his or her partner by not sharing information. Important discussions about certain topics, such as health care directives and financial matters, may be avoided in an effort not to upset the partner. Survivors and partners may have different priorities. Cancer survivors and their partners may find that some things that were important to them before treatment are no longer as important. There may be a change in the way they view life. Some decide to change jobs or other relationships in their lives. Sometimes both partners and survivors can easily understand the change in priorities and be comfortable with them. Other times, one of them might not understand why these changes are happening or may not agree with them. This can feel threatening to a relationship.
How can survivors learn to communicate well with their partners?
Couples sharing the cancer journey can learn new and effective communication strategies. Even though it can be difficult to change old habits, learning skills and developing new communication habits is possible. The key is to practice the new skills regularly. The benefit is that healthy communication can increase satisfaction in a couple’s overall relationship and positively affect the quality of life for both. Some ways to improve communication skills include:
How can better communication benefit survivors and their partners?
There may be times when survivors and their partners have a hard time talking with one another. During times of stress, effective and healthy communication might be a challenge for couples. This can be especially difficult if there were already problems talking and sharing before the cancer diagnosis. If communication between you and your partner is not what you would like, you may need to work on building skills. You may be able to do this together or with the help of a licensed counselor. You may want to talk with your health care team about getting a referral to a counselor who is experienced working with cancer survivors. Signs that it is time to work on better communication with your partner include:
If there is ever physical aggression in the response of you or your partner, seek immediate help. Options for professional assistance include:
This document was produced in collaboration with: Cindy L. Carmack Taylor, Ph.D. Works Cited Christensen, Andrew, and Neil Jacobson. Reconcilable Differences. New York: The London Press, 2000. Fincham, Frank D., Leyan O.L. Fernandes, and Keith Humphreys. Communicating in Relationships: A Guide for Couples and Professionals. Champaign: Research Press, Manne, Sharon, Stephen J. Pape, Kathryn L. Taylor, and James Dougherty. “Spouse support, coping, and mood among individuals with cancer.” Annals of Behavioral Medicine Communicating With Your Partner: SuggestionsThe suggestions that follow are based on the information presented in the Detailed Information document. They are meant to help you take what you learn and apply the information to your own needs. This information is not intended nor should it be interpreted as providing professional medical, legal and financial advice. You should consult a trained professional for more information. Please read the Additional Resources document for links to more resources.. Understand communication patterns and behaviors in your relationship. Before you can work on improving communication with your partner, you need to understand the patterns. Identify areas that need to be changed because of the cancer experience. Men and women generally communicate very differently. Men may want to try to solve the problems. Women often want to talk about problems and share emotions in an effort to give and receive support. It can be reassuring to men to know that sometimes simply sharing and discussing problems that cannot be solved is helpful to women. It may be helpful for women to be aware that discussing problems that cannot be solved can be frustrating for men. Discuss the following questions with your partner:
It is important for survivors and partners to be aware of their own communication needs and behaviors. Both need to take responsibility for their own patterns and recognize their own role in communication challenges. Learn and practice effective communication skills together.
Take a break out if a discussion becomes heated or too filled with tension. Agree in advance about how long the break should last. Each partner may need to go to a separate area to calm down. After calming down, you can try again to return to the conversation.
Take time to discuss difficult topics with your partner.
Consider meeting with a licensed counselor about serious challenges in your relationship. Sometimes communication problems are the result of more complicated problems. In some cases, a couple may require the help of a counselor or therapist. Ask your doctor for a referral if you:
In many cases, serious relationship problems can be avoided or improved with the assistance of a licensed counselor or therapist. Understand communication patterns and behaviors in your relationship. Before you can work on improving communication with your partner, you need to understand the patterns. Identify areas that need to be changed because of the cancer experience. Men and women generally communicate very differently. Men may want to try to solve the problems. Women often want to talk about problems and share emotions in an effort to give and receive support. It can be reassuring to men to know that sometimes simply sharing and discussing problems that cannot be solved is helpful to women. It may be helpful for women to be aware that discussing problems that cannot be solved can be frustrating for men. Discuss the following questions with your partner:
It is important for survivors and partners to be aware of their own communication needs and behaviors. Both need to take responsibility for their own patterns and recognize their own role in communication challenges. Learn and practice effective communication skills together.
Take time to discuss difficult topics with your partner.
Consider meeting with a licensed counselor about serious challenges in your relationship. Sometimes communication problems are the result of more complicated problems. In some cases, a couple may require the help of a counselor or therapist. Ask your doctor for a referral if you:
In many cases, serious relationship problems can be avoided or improved with the assistance of a licensed counselor or therapist. Communicating With Your Partner: Additional ResourcesThe resources listed below provide more detailed information and support services to help you communicate with your partner. Please read the Detailed Information and Suggestions document for more information and questions to ask. LIVESTRONG SurvivorCare Program
LIVESTRONG SurvivorCare offers assistance to anyone affected by cancer, including the person diagnosed, loved ones, caregivers and friends. The program provides information about treatment options and matching to clinical trials or treatments in development. Counseling services and assistance with financial, employment and insurance issues are also available. To provide these services, LIVESTRONG SurvivorCare has partnered with several organizations including CancerCare, Patient Advocate Foundation and EmergingMed.
American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy
The American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy provides a searchable database for locating licensed marriage and family therapists. This website also has information about a variety of emotional concerns, including chronic illness, caregiving, bereavement and loss. Descriptions of related books, audio tapes and articles are also available. American Psychological Association Help Center
The American Psychological Association (APA) has an online help center that offers consumers free information, facts, and tips about mental health issues. The APA Help Center provides a variety of brochures and online information about a wide range of emotional concerns, including chronic illness, stress, mind-body health, resilience, and issues including managed care and health insurance. The site also includes a psychologist locator service and a toll-free number to obtain contact information about psychologists in your area. Some information is available in Spanish. American Psychosocial Oncology Society (APOS)
APOS works to ensure that all people with cancer have access to psychosocial services as a part of quality cancer care. They provide mental health care referrals to local counseling and support services throughout the United States. If no services are available in your community, a professionally trained Helpline staff member will provide crisis counseling over the phone. To use this service, call the toll-free number. National Register of Health Service Providers in Psychology
The National Register of Health Service Providers in Psychology sponsors this free psychologist referral website to promote consumer access to more than 12,000 professionally screened psychologists in the United States and Canada. This site also contains frequently asked questions about getting help, web links and resources on behavioral health care issues for consumers. The Wellness Community
The Wellness Community is an international non-profit organization. It provides free support and education to people with cancer and their loved ones. Professionals lead support groups, educational workshops, nutrition and exercise programs. They help people affected by cancer regain control and reduce isolation regardless of the stage of their survivorship. Wellness Communities and satellite programs are located across the U.S. Online support groups for cancer survivors and caregivers are offered in both English and Spanish on their website.
Communicating With Your PartnerCommunicating with your partner about how cancer has affected you can be difficult. Even strong relationships can become strained under the pressure of managing a complex illness. Taking steps to improve your communication skills can help you to feel more supported and understood.
Communicating With Your Partner: Detailed InformationThis information is meant to be a general introduction to this topic. The purpose is to provide a starting point for you to become more informed about important matters that may be affecting your life as a survivor and to provide ideas about steps you can take to learn more. This information is not intended nor should it be interpreted as providing professional medical, legal and financial advice. You should consult a trained professional for more information. Please read the Suggestions and Additional Resources documents for questions to ask and for more resources. Why is it important for survivors to communicate well with their partners? A spouse or partner can be a primary source of support to a cancer survivor. However, if communication begins to break down, it can be stressful and result in low levels of support for both. While the cancer journey can be emotionally challenging for survivors, it can also be hard on loved ones. In some cases, a partner may experience more emotional distress than the survivor. Both survivors and their partners may have strong emotions such as fear, anger and guilt. Stress is also common. A decline in the physical or emotional status of either may create a “cycle of distress” for the couple. If this happens, one person’s distress also affects the other. High levels of emotional distress can strain the relationship. Good communication may be the most effective strategy for breaking this cycle. It may also improve the quality of life for both. Good communication skills can help survivors and their partners to:
Important issues that partners may need to discuss together include:
The cancer experience can be a time that enriches and strengthens the relationship. A partner can play a large role in shaping the emotional experience of the survivor to the experiences of cancer and life after treatment. Research shows that survivors who feel they have support from their partners are more likely to focus on the positive aspects of their cancer journey. This can improve their quality of life. Why is it sometimes difficult for survivors to communicate with their partners? There may be a number of reasons why it can be difficult for survivors to communicate with their partners including:
Issues, such as the side effects or aftereffects of cancer and treatment, may be difficult to discuss. For example, some survivors experience incontinence, sexual or fertility problems or changes in self-esteem and body image. These may be very hard for some people to talk about. Long-lasting complications, such as fatigue and chronic pain, may be difficult for partners to understand. This is especially true when the survivor is in remission or looks healthy. The partner may want the survivor to move on and return to life the way it was before cancer. Sensitive issues that may be difficult to discuss include:
Survivors may feel guilty discussing certain topics with their partners. It can be hard for survivors to ask others for help. This is particularly true if the survivor has always been the one to help others. Some may continue to try to do tasks that have become too emotionally or physically challenging. Some survivors are worried about stress on their partners. They may feel guilty about asking partners to take on new roles and responsibilities. They may be concerned that a partner is as distressed (or more) than the survivor. A survivor may try to protect his or her partner by not sharing information. Important discussions about certain topics, such as health care directives and financial matters, may be avoided in an effort not to upset the partner. Survivors and partners may have different priorities. Cancer survivors and their partners may find that some things that were important to them before treatment are no longer as important. There may be a change in the way they view life. Some decide to change jobs or other relationships in their lives. Sometimes both partners and survivors can easily understand the change in priorities and be comfortable with them. Other times, one of them might not understand why these changes are happening or may not agree with them. This can feel threatening to a relationship.
How can survivors learn to communicate well with their partners?
Couples sharing the cancer journey can learn new and effective communication strategies. Even though it can be difficult to change old habits, learning skills and developing new communication habits is possible. The key is to practice the new skills regularly. The benefit is that healthy communication can increase satisfaction in a couple’s overall relationship and positively affect the quality of life for both. Some ways to improve communication skills include:
How can better communication benefit survivors and their partners?
There may be times when survivors and their partners have a hard time talking with one another. During times of stress, effective and healthy communication might be a challenge for couples. This can be especially difficult if there were already problems talking and sharing before the cancer diagnosis. If communication between you and your partner is not what you would like, you may need to work on building skills. You may be able to do this together or with the help of a licensed counselor. You may want to talk with your health care team about getting a referral to a counselor who is experienced working with cancer survivors. Signs that it is time to work on better communication with your partner include:
If there is ever physical aggression in the response of you or your partner, seek immediate help. Options for professional assistance include:
This document was produced in collaboration with: Cindy L. Carmack Taylor, Ph.D. Works Cited Christensen, Andrew, and Neil Jacobson. Reconcilable Differences. New York: The London Press, 2000. Fincham, Frank D., Leyan O.L. Fernandes, and Keith Humphreys. Communicating in Relationships: A Guide for Couples and Professionals. Champaign: Research Press, Manne, Sharon, Stephen J. Pape, Kathryn L. Taylor, and James Dougherty. “Spouse support, coping, and mood among individuals with cancer.” Annals of Behavioral Medicine Communicating With Your Partner: SuggestionsThe suggestions that follow are based on the information presented in the Detailed Information document. They are meant to help you take what you learn and apply the information to your own needs. This information is not intended nor should it be interpreted as providing professional medical, legal and financial advice. You should consult a trained professional for more information. Please read the Additional Resources document for links to more resources.. Understand communication patterns and behaviors in your relationship. Before you can work on improving communication with your partner, you need to understand the patterns. Identify areas that need to be changed because of the cancer experience. Men and women generally communicate very differently. Men may want to try to solve the problems. Women often want to talk about problems and share emotions in an effort to give and receive support. It can be reassuring to men to know that sometimes simply sharing and discussing problems that cannot be solved is helpful to women. It may be helpful for women to be aware that discussing problems that cannot be solved can be frustrating for men. Discuss the following questions with your partner:
It is important for survivors and partners to be aware of their own communication needs and behaviors. Both need to take responsibility for their own patterns and recognize their own role in communication challenges. Learn and practice effective communication skills together.
Take a break out if a discussion becomes heated or too filled with tension. Agree in advance about how long the break should last. Each partner may need to go to a separate area to calm down. After calming down, you can try again to return to the conversation.
Take time to discuss difficult topics with your partner.
Consider meeting with a licensed counselor about serious challenges in your relationship. Sometimes communication problems are the result of more complicated problems. In some cases, a couple may require the help of a counselor or therapist. Ask your doctor for a referral if you:
In many cases, serious relationship problems can be avoided or improved with the assistance of a licensed counselor or therapist. Understand communication patterns and behaviors in your relationship. Before you can work on improving communication with your partner, you need to understand the patterns. Identify areas that need to be changed because of the cancer experience. Men and women generally communicate very differently. Men may want to try to solve the problems. Women often want to talk about problems and share emotions in an effort to give and receive support. It can be reassuring to men to know that sometimes simply sharing and discussing problems that cannot be solved is helpful to women. It may be helpful for women to be aware that discussing problems that cannot be solved can be frustrating for men. Discuss the following questions with your partner:
It is important for survivors and partners to be aware of their own communication needs and behaviors. Both need to take responsibility for their own patterns and recognize their own role in communication challenges. Learn and practice effective communication skills together.
Take time to discuss difficult topics with your partner.
Consider meeting with a licensed counselor about serious challenges in your relationship. Sometimes communication problems are the result of more complicated problems. In some cases, a couple may require the help of a counselor or therapist. Ask your doctor for a referral if you:
In many cases, serious relationship problems can be avoided or improved with the assistance of a licensed counselor or therapist. Communicating With Your Partner: Additional ResourcesThe resources listed below provide more detailed information and support services to help you communicate with your partner. Please read the Detailed Information and Suggestions document for more information and questions to ask. LIVESTRONG SurvivorCare Program
LIVESTRONG SurvivorCare offers assistance to anyone affected by cancer, including the person diagnosed, loved ones, caregivers and friends. The program provides information about treatment options and matching to clinical trials or treatments in development. Counseling services and assistance with financial, employment and insurance issues are also available. To provide these services, LIVESTRONG SurvivorCare has partnered with several organizations including CancerCare, Patient Advocate Foundation and EmergingMed.
American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy
The American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy provides a searchable database for locating licensed marriage and family therapists. This website also has information about a variety of emotional concerns, including chronic illness, caregiving, bereavement and loss. Descriptions of related books, audio tapes and articles are also available. American Psychological Association Help Center
The American Psychological Association (APA) has an online help center that offers consumers free information, facts, and tips about mental health issues. The APA Help Center provides a variety of brochures and online information about a wide range of emotional concerns, including chronic illness, stress, mind-body health, resilience, and issues including managed care and health insurance. The site also includes a psychologist locator service and a toll-free number to obtain contact information about psychologists in your area. Some information is available in Spanish. American Psychosocial Oncology Society (APOS)
APOS works to ensure that all people with cancer have access to psychosocial services as a part of quality cancer care. They provide mental health care referrals to local counseling and support services throughout the United States. If no services are available in your community, a professionally trained Helpline staff member will provide crisis counseling over the phone. To use this service, call the toll-free number. National Register of Health Service Providers in Psychology
The National Register of Health Service Providers in Psychology sponsors this free psychologist referral website to promote consumer access to more than 12,000 professionally screened psychologists in the United States and Canada. This site also contains frequently asked questions about getting help, web links and resources on behavioral health care issues for consumers. The Wellness Community
The Wellness Community is an international non-profit organization. It provides free support and education to people with cancer and their loved ones. Professionals lead support groups, educational workshops, nutrition and exercise programs. They help people affected by cancer regain control and reduce isolation regardless of the stage of their survivorship. Wellness Communities and satellite programs are located across the U.S. Online support groups for cancer survivors and caregivers are offered in both English and Spanish on their website. |
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