Page 146 - LIVESTRONG Digital Guidebook

1 AFTER TREATMENT: Emotions after Cancer Treatment
will because it will not be read soon enough. Also, it
should not be stored in a safe deposit box because the
contents will not be available in a timely manner.
Consider the following as you do the preplanning:
• Cultural traditions
• Faith-based practices
• Cost
• Location
• Individual preferences such as a traditional
service or more personal style
• Sharing plans with loved ones
Ask for help if advance planning seems too hard
to do alone. A loved one, friend or an attorney can
assist you. Let others do the planning if thinking
about a funeral or memorial service is too difficult.
GRIEF
Grief is a natural response to loss. People grieve after
the loss of someone or something that was important
to them. Some losses are more difficult than others.
When a loss is especially important, grief is more
than simple sadness. Finding ways to express your
grief can help you adjust to the loss.
Grief is a process that happens over a long
period of time. It can include a wide range of thoughts
and feelings. Even though these feelings and reac-
tions can be painful, it is important to remember that
grief is a normal, healthy response to loss.
Anyone who has been involved in the life of
another may experience loss and grief. This can
include loved ones, friends and caregivers. Talk with
your health care provider if grief becomes too much
to handle. You can ask for a referral to a licensed
social worker, counselor or a hospital chaplain for
help dealing with your loss. Some people find the
support they need through their faith-based organi-
zations or support groups.
Important losses that are not grieved are diffi-
cult to heal. Unresolved grief can rob you of energy
and joy and prevent you from moving forward in life
146
again. Some individuals come to understand grief
on their own. For others, it may be difficult to share
feelings of loss and grief. However, many people find
that talking with others helps them:
• Recognize losses
• Express emotions
• Connect feelings and reactions to the
experience of loss
• Understand loss and grief feelings and
reactions as normal
• Find ways to cope
• Adjust more quickly to life after loss
• Feel stronger and more capable than before
In some cases, it may seem that certain individu-
als do not recognize your loss or that you are griev-
ing. It may be that they feel unable to deal with the
intense feelings that they have about loss and grief.
Some friends or loved ones might act like they
do not want to talk to you about your feelings. They
may really want to help you, but do not know what
to say. They might not understand how important it
is for you to be able to talk about your loss. If this
happens, try explaining that you need someone to
support you by listening. Let them know you do not
expect them to make everything better.
Children need the support of both fam-
ily and teachers as they grieve. The Foundation
has developed a fact sheet to help adults un-
derstand how to support school-aged children
through difficult times. Go to LIVESTRONG.
org/what-we-do/program/livestrong-at-school
for free online lessons (K–12) and other important
information.
The pain of grief generally subsides as it is
shared. Good listeners may be found among loved
ones, friends and members of your health care team
such as a hospital chaplain or an oncology social
worker. You can also share with members of faith-
based organizations or in-person and online sup-
port groups.
www.LIVESTRONG.org/WeCanHelp